I just glanced and realized I haven't blogged since May 3rd. What a whirl wind the last 5 months has been! Our family up and moved from our home for the past 8 years back to my husband and my hometown this past July. When we got orders from the Air Force I fully intended on blogging through the ordeal. And then life happened.
First it was taking time to fix up the house and sell it, then get the ministry we built handed over to new directors, then the actual move which didn't go anywhere near the way we planned, and of course getting settled in our new town which is never easy with kids and especially not easy with a child that struggles with attachment. It's hard for me to adjust and make new friends, I can't even imagine how impossible it feels to her. So we've had some struggles helping all our kids adjust, our Warrior Girl especially.
I think as moms we tend to feel the need to fix it all for our kids. As if it is totally up to us to be all they need, say the right thing at the right time, and make things easy for them. God has really been showing me how unhealthy this kind of thinking is.
One thing I love about our Creator is how we can read the same story in the Bible dozens of times and each time a new truth is revealed to us. Lately God has really been pinpointing a moment early in the Israelites journey to me. By pinpointing I mean this one moment just keeps popping up everywhere. One of those, "Ok God, I get the hint" kind of things.
In Exodus 14 Moses leads the Israelites away from Egypt and they end up with the Red Sea on one side and the Egyptians closing in on the other side. And of course they fully trusted God to provide a way and never panicked once. No, that's not what happened. They fully panicked! Like an animal cornered. They panicked and lashed out at Moses.
The Israelites were in a prime spot for God to show up and prove His faithfulness to them, yet they didn't see the situation that way at all, all they saw was the impossibleness of it.
I don't know about you, but I often am just like the Israelites. When I wind up in a situation that feels helpless I tend to panic. "How can I fix this? How do I get out of this?" I feel stuck between the Egyptians and the Red Sea.
Since our move I have felt this way with our Warrior Girl. And actually if I'm honest, I'd say I've felt this way longer than that. I stopped partnering with God for her healing and started feeling like it was all on me. Moving just highlighted all the areas we struggle in once again and brought us back to panic mode.
Instead of remembering that between the Egyptians and the Red Sea is the prime spot for God to show Himself faithful, I have been trying to find us a way out on my own. But God has been reminding me of what Moses said to the Israelites.
The Lord will fight for you while you keep silent. Exodus 14:14
There are a few different versions to the end of that verse. King James says, "And ye shall hold your peace" and the NIV version states, "You need only be still." Basically Moses is saying not to do anything and by anything, he means anything. God has it under control.
This is so hard for us, to fully rely on God without trying to fix the situation ourselves, isn't it? Most days I feel like my child's healing is balanced on my shoulders. If I don't do things just so, the right tone, the right words, the right amount of affection and touch, the right type of discipline... It's just too much! Yet, here is God saying, "I know EXACTLY where you are and EXACTLY what you need, just be still, hold your peace and close your mouth! I am going to show you my faithfulness and might."
I imagine Him looking down on me with compassion and love, waiting so patiently for me to realize that I just absolutely can not do this on my own. Healing my daughter is a completely impossible thing for me. No support group or book will give me the tools or answer, the answer is found in Him alone. Moses could not have parted the Red Sea on his own. Without the power God all Moses would have done is slam a stick into the ground. In these Red Sea moments we can not do anything to save ourselves. We need our Savior to work on our behalf. We have to set aside our panic and trust that God already has the end planned and it all works out for our good.
So that is what I'm working on.
I would love to know I'm not alone in this! Tell me about your Red Sea moments in the comments below.